What am I doing...

It's friday evening, and it's 1h50 min to my 22th birthday. And I am sitting here in the library and have to learn a 500 slides script of my hated subject, business informatics II.

I know I am pathatic... I remember that I spent my last year's birthday the same way. I even forgot it, after I realized, it was already 30 past. A really sad thing was... even my mom forgot it. (She appoligized after that through...)

But this year, she did not forget, she already called me today to say that he got a present for me. It's a new winter jacket. :) Also she promised to call tomorrow too. My brother will write me too. I love my family.

I wonder if my boyfriend is going to call me at 12. He promissed to call... but I think he will oversleep. And I wonder if any friend will gratulate me... even not, it's still ok. I got used to that. I am bad at remembering friend's birthday's too. I am sorry for that and appologize now for all the forgotten birthdays of them. I know how special it can be to hear a "Happy Birthday!". But they should know that I always think about them!

I am looking forwards to my new year of life. I hope this year is going to be special. I hope I will step into a new stage of life successfully. And I hope I will be able to look back after this year has passed that it was all good. Because I am able to say that right now too.

This is the picture I took of him during our little date in the park at my last week in Japan when we made a little firework party. I worked a little bit on this picture with photoshop. Isn't it beautiful?

But come back to subject.

Since two days I have been back to Vallendar.

( the day being back )

Another morning with nothing to do. I wonder if I am serious going to learn something in this internship. But yeah, at least I haven't been reading so many news articles, interviews and specialist reports for a long time. For a long time, I finally find myself back to knowing a little bit about what is happening in Germany and rest of the world. During the time back in Japan I have not done anything that sort, and kind of felt dumb when people suddenly asked me about current German political questions and I could not give any nice answers to them.

Surprisingly the afternoon was quite busy. Busier than I thought. I got two tasks to do which I did in around 2 and half hours. When my manager even doubted if I was able to find the document, I told him that I already finished it and hast sent it to him. He gave out a little surprised tone.. and just said something like, oh I was working with my laptop that is why I did not check my e-mail.



( my Shanghai night life with my dad )

There supposed to be the yearly Perseid meteor shower yesterday night. I really wanted to see it... I even told that my bf so we could watch it together at one time (since Japan has only one hour of time zone difference compared to Shanghai), even though we are in 2 different places.
I did not want to give up yesterday even though I know that in Shanghai, even when the sky is clear, it is to bright for stars to appear. And of course the same goes with inner city of Tokyo. However, I just wanted to try out if if you can still see a little bit if you wait long enough. So after I chatted with my boyfriend on skype I went to the big balcony of my dad's mansion, covered with a huge blanked and sad on the floor to wait for the falling stars to appear. And guess what... there weren't any. >.< Since the sun eclipse there has been rain everyday. And of course the sky never actually cleared up in these days. I mean I should have known that it must be impossible to see any.

In the first 10 min, I believed to have seen one till three little, bright stripes striving through the skies. But I was not sure if there were shooting stars or just some weird imagination of me. And then I waited, waited and waited... I think around 30 min, I decided to go inside because I was quite sure that none will appear. Before opening the door, I turned a last time back and suddently I saw a big hole in the middle of the dense black clouds, and a huge, bright star appeared. Then after a couple of seconds a bright, little light dashed by, from north to south, right infront of me. I could not really believe my eyes. There was really a meteor star! *O* I almost cried out! >O< I was so happy I got to see one. And of course just right after that I made a wish. All my sleepiness and tiredness was gone, and I was so touched that even though there was such a thik layer of cloud, this little star still made out of it, brighter as any other shooting star and appeared in front of me. I did not know why I think this weird way... I think maybe just because this little star gave me a hope, that even though there might be obstacles everywhere and your path seems so unclear, there must be somewhere a brighter shine that leads you if you believe in yourself. It was the first time after perhaps 7 or 8 years that I have see a shooting star once again. The last time I saw one was the time when I went to Hungary with a couple of friends during summer, and because its a village, the stars at night were so clear as nothing before. But I think none of those I saw was so beautiful as that I saw yesterday night. Perhaps because there were so many stars at that time in Hungary and a shooting star therefore does not seem so bright and beautiful. But yesterday, even though the sky was bright because of the strong reflection of all the aritificial lights of the city, it was still gray everywhere. Not even the moon could be seen behind the clouds. That was why the only one shooting star seemed so beautiful in that dark sky.

I did not know that stars could be so beautiful... I think if I see the sky of Tokyo or Shanghai, I seriously starts to miss Germany. Because as I could remember, the German skies are always so beautiful... In summer you can just lie on the field and watch stars with your beloved once, and there you don't need any sort of neon lights, flashing electric bulbs or high building, there are stars you can watch. I think I will definetely want to see the leonids meteor shower in November when it is the time. Once in my life, I want to see such a beautiful natural phenomenon.

Here is a photograph of the Perseid meteor shower was taken in 2004. Isn't this absolutely beautiful? Truely the most beautiful thing on earth is still the natural but nothing else.

I am really really bored right now! Haha


Right now I am sitting in the office... and am doing absolutely nothing! I have finished the work the manager give me three days ago. The new work I suppose to do from today has not been passed on to me yet, as this guy who is setting next to me and a huuuuuuuuge German fan has been bussy the whole morning. It looks like I would be doing nothing again the whole morning... so I decide to write an entry. I think this time is going to be a long one, as I have quite a lot of time, and I am just going to talk about how I think about love.

( randomn talk about love )

I don't know why I actually deserve to be that happy... I just do not know.

Yesterday evening I was lying on the bed of my dad's bedroom, while reading a photoalbum and started crying heavily... my tears could no stop and just ran and ran and ran, on and on... and the only thing in my head was that I wanted to go back to Japan, I want to go back to my family!! Now I am going to tell you how I actually end up like thinking this way...

( the night of 30th of July 2009 )

This is my new happiness:


( 私の彼氏 )

We are dating...



I confessed to him yesterday and he meant even he does not know what will happen after I return to Germany but for the time what we have, he will be with me. よろしくお願いします

I am so happy... I am so happy that I cannot believe that this is actually true...


I am so sad... I am so sad that I will leave him soon...


This kind of feeling is making me a little bit crazy... But still I am thankful for everything. He has made the 4 months complete, to the best 4 months I have ever experienced in my whole life. And I will be going through the last most wonderful time in the next 10 days.


I am happy for what I have, ... that he is there... to love me.

I think I fell in love...

今恋をしていると思う・・・

Ich denke, ich habe mich verliebt...

我想我恋爱了...

Je pense que je tombe en amour...





... but it's too late.

・・・でももう遅いです。

... aber es ist zu spät.

... 但已经晚了。

... mais c'est en retard.

Ok I have another 30 min until the next class... so I decided to write lj again.. instead of doing research for my stupid report and presenation that is due to next week... ahhhh (Ｘ．Ｘ;)


I have calm down with the murder case... ヽ(´ー｀)ノ
I mean of course I will have to take care of myself.. but what happens just happens...
I cannot stop me being running over accidently by a car of which the driver fell asleep, or being hit by a lightning during this rain season, or falls falls down the stairs and hit my head, or eventually get the swine influenza or other deadly illnesses.
Being stupid to always worry about those things I should better concentrate how I should spend my last 30 days here in Japan. But right now I cannot think about anything else beside of doing my reports, finishing my presentations and get damned a good grade in the classes!! But it is still like ... "surprise! You have got an A or F" -case. (ﾟ-ﾟ;)←

I think I will just miss everyone here sooo much... Right now I cannot believe that I might not be able to see some of them for the rest of my life after a get on the plane this time. I mean... I do not know when I am going to be back next time... maybe next year, but maybe in 3 years, or 5 years.. or 10 years!! ~~~~~~~~(；ω；)

Even though I try to keep a little distance to them, because I know if I go too close to them it would just be too sad at farewell. But I still want them know that I really really love them very much and that I wish everyone of them all the best for their futures. Even if you cannot imagine.. but the time I have spent here in these 3 months have been so wonderful... I can almost maybe the most wonderful time in my life so far...
Then I ask myself why I just do not stay here.. I mean I can just stay the summer here and reject my internship opporturnity in Shanghai, or come back to Waseda next year for a Master... but I know I cannot do that. Because ever person needs to go on and find his or her own way. Even though happiness and fun is very important in life... but pursuing your profession, using your time to study more and more, seeing the world, expand your boundaries... are all also very very important. And I believe that 4 month are enough for fun and hobbies and I need to return back to what I need and should do.

I really treasure my time and the memory I left here and feel really sad to leave everything here... but I believe that my choice is correct. Perhaps I will come back one day, sooner than I thought, and we will be joint again.


Haha... now I used up 20 min just talking about this shit. Sorry about that guys... ^^;;;

I am getting to class now... it is going to be a hard day!!!!! Fighting!!!

Btw. I forgot my cell phone at my room... you know what is being like without cell phone in Tokyo? It is like... almost clinging aways from the rest of the world... haha.. that is why I am blubbing all these nonsense... XDDDD

怖い・・・ (ﾟ-ﾟ;)←

今朝の０時何分、西川口駅から約５００メートルのアパートで死んだ女性が見つかられたそうです！！！胸と背中が何回目ナイフに刺された！！それだけじゃない・・・そこから、約６００メートルの川で一人男の遺体が見つかられたみたい！！！二人死んだよ！！！

容疑者はその同じアパートに借りている、２８歳の中国籍女性そうです。今見つかっていないです。殺す使ったナイフもまだ見つかられていないだ・・・


今私なぜ毎日日本にあるような殺人事件書くのか知りたい？　理由は簡単・・・私は毎日その殺された人のアパート近くある道を通るから！！！！

西川口駅私毎日使うの駅から、そして私はほとんど夜の１１時半ぐらいその道を通ってる・・・


あああああああ\(´>ω<｀)/


犯人がまた見つかられていないだ！！！！

そして、その殺された男性とその殺された女性の関係は？？？

だから今朝その道が全部警察に閉められました・・・黄色いテープを使った、ドラマみたいと思った・・・ヽ(´ー｀)ノそして今日１１時半ぐらいの帰りはまた普通にその道で通った・・・何も考えずに、あ・・まだ閉まってると思った・・・(￣ー￣)

って帰ってきて、寮長さんから殺人事件の話を聞いて、自分もネットで調べって、今自分のことバカだと思っている！！！！！！！本とにバカ！！！（゜゜;;） ←　同じ感じしおりに怒られた・・・ごめん！(＞-＜;)
二度と夜にその道を使わないことを決めた！！！(Ｘ．Ｘ;)


また遅くないかも知らないけど・・・今日から帰りは気をつけます！！！

マジで怖いな・・・早く犯人を捕まってね！！！それども犯人は早く自分が自首しなさい！！！( ﾟ艸ﾟ);;;

日本ってさ・・・やっぱり危ない人いっぱいいるな！！！泣く~~~~~~~~(；ω；)

Sorry not having kept my promise of writing more often. It's really I do not have the time to calm down at all. Also I have decided to start mixi as well (Japanese community page, where everyone is there.. ^^;;;), so sometimes I will just put the entry from there over here...

Today, I wrote my first dairy entry at mixi, in Japanese!!!!

Haha, it took me quite long to write this short entry... but I have suceed!!!

here it is:

-----------------------------------------------------------

はじめってmixiで日記を書くのことになりました！！！

皆はここにいるから、自分も頑張らないと・・・

でも難しいな・・・しかも日本語で・・・汗


３月２６日アメリカから日本の早稲田大学の留学生活が始まったよ！！！今まで毎日楽しく進んでいる！！！

友達をできたり、サークル活動やったり、学校に行ったり、バイトをしたり・・・完璧な大学生生活をしてる！！！あ・・九分の・・・恋をしていない・・泣

まだ一ヶ月ここにいるの事まったく気づてない・・もう一ヶ月だ！！！そろそろ上海に帰ること考えないろ・・・あまり考えたくないけど、でもそうしないと、落ち着けなれない・・・
でも皆と離れたくないだ！！！ここの全てを愛してる！！！

今朝中国大使館に行き積もりだけど、寝過ごした。目をさめたも１１時だ・・・事務所１２時までやってるから・・・無理だ！！だからいまベットでごろごろしてる。笑


そろそろ起きたほうがいい・・・勉強したしょうがいい・・・したくない！！本とに完全に怠け者になった・・・


でもそれは青春じゃないですか？？？！！！

笑



よし・・・起きます！！今日の一日また頑張ります！！

Ahhh it has been so long since I wrote my last entry... yeah seriously more than one month now... wow! I am really sorry, that I did not write earlier... I have been just way too busy lately.. that I even do not have the time to rely to e-mails. First of all, sorry Aqua!! I really forgot to reply to your mail... I am so slow at typing German or English on the mobile so I wanted to wait later until I have more time to reply to you... but guess what... I forgot.. ^^;;;

But yeah since you asked what and I have been doing since I arrived at Tokyo... I will just write a little bit about it right now.

To describe my time here at Waseda in one sentence it would be:

........It's just too awesome to be true!!!............

I just cannot find any words to describe it... it has been more than 4 weeks since I arrved to Tokyo and almost 4 weeks since I started my exchange semester here at Waseda. I feel like if I have been living here my life long... I remember when I was thinking about which university I wanted to go after High School, that Waseda would be such a great one... but this was so impossible that it seemed to be a dream. Today this dream has been fulfilled... and I noticed that the dream about Waseda has been confirmed. I had all right to dream about Waseda. Because now I finally got to know what it means to have a "student way of life!"

Before I start to talk great about Waseda, I just wanted everyone know that Waseda is not a place to expand your own knowledge horrizon... not with that I have seen so far. If you want to study seriously you should instead choose Keio or Tokyo Daigaku. Waseda is one of the top universities in Japan that is true... but compare to the university I now (at least to WHU) I just can say that the levels vary so much from each other. For me the only thing I learn the most at Waseda is Japanese. But hey... I am here to have fun... to experience the real student life... and in that point Waseda has surpassed all of my expectations!

Due to space and time limitation I cannot start to talk about everyday since I came to Waseda, therefore I will just summarize everything.

The best thing I find great about Waseda are CIRCLES! On the day of your University entrance ceremony (1st, April) and the whole week with this, all the circles of Waseda are gather together on the main campus and try to convince freshmen to join their circles. It is a thing that you experience or seen so far. I am an exchange student, therefore, not need to attend any university entrance ceremony... but I still wore my suit and went there to see how an entrance ceremony was like. After it was done, all the freshmen came out of the university and step into the main campus... and there sophmore, juniors, and seniors form a big corridor out of people and start to give out pamphlets from their circles... it is not only 1 or 2, and also not 9-10, but 100 - 200 pages that you get on that day!!! If you start to spread out your arms to receive some of them, you have already done a mistake. Because once you open up your arms, the next people you passe by will on and on try to put their pamphlets on top of the others... so it begins to built a pile which grows higher and higher... and it does not stop...

When I tried to find my way though this human corridor, I was releaved that some of the guys suddently handed me a paper bag so I could put all those into it... as I was also wearing a suit, I was also mistaken to be a freshmen, so there was no escape from them. There I lost the Korean friend with who I came to the ceremony... and found the first circle, a Musical circle called Seiren Musical Project. On that afternoon, I watched a show they had last year on DVD called "Me and My Girl" and was so fascinated by their performance that I could not believe that the most of actors and actresses are actual younger than me... after that we went to Japanese Yakiniku restaurant and all the sempais treated the freshmen to dinner and all you can drink juices and alcohol. There I got to know that this what they do is called "Shin Kan Kai", in Japanese 新観会. As Waseda is absolutely famous for its number of circles... also called the circle heaven - サークル天国. Waseda has hundreds of circles: standard sport circles
tennis, volleyball, foodball, soccer down to specialities like diving, skiing or chearleading. Dancing circles for example are all together more than 20 or 30 as there all kinds of dancing circles. Artist circles, like Manga study, drama, piano, ensemble, choir, Jazz, acapella, traditional music instruments... study circles like english debating, spanish, law study circles, international exchange... Funny and spaciality circles like media study circles (announcer, making MV), Japanese kabuki, tea ceremony, or fan circles... almost everything you can imagine!!!!
every April, all the circles organizes events as for examples drink parties (飲み会 or コンパ), watching sakura (花見), 2 days travel (合宿) or getting know training sessions (練習会). Everything is either free or very cheap for freshmen so therefore many freshmen uses this chance to get free food and drink during their first month. Others are just going around circles to find the right one they want to join.
I did that too. Therefore during the last 4 weeks, there were almost no day that I came home earlier than 23 pm... Everyday I had different events going on, most of them where some training scessions plus drinking parties afterwards.
For me I have found 3-4 interessting circles I have been going to their events recently, two musical circles, one is this Seiren Musical project, other one is called Omnibus, also a Musical circle. The 3rd one is a dancing circle and the fourth one a Magic circle. Last one was at first a circle I went bc I did not have anything to do on that day so I went to their drinking party. But it was so fun, that I even now went to couple of training sessions... ^^;; The thing about circles is that you can get to know so many cool people, make a lot of friends and have tons and tons of fun in a very short time. The members welcome you warmly as you might be a possible future member of this circle. You cannot only make friends with the grades over you you can also make many freshmen friends. In the dorm I have found two best friends who I spent most of my time together, with them I go to Omnibus, and the dancing circle. I have make friends with many old graders and freshmen as well...
My phone number list has grown from around 30 people... until 150! And did I already told you guys that there are so many good looking guys here at Waseda? The same goes for beautiful girls.. many of the could be already models. I do not know where they are coming from, but they are just there... I know that is impossible to find anyone within the next 3 months.. but just hanging out with them, having fun is already enough for me.

So.. I better stop here.. next time I will upload pictures and you can see yourself what kind of beautiful faces are around me every single day... I do not know if its a good thing or not.. hehe but see them yourself...

In 5 min I will get on my way to Newark NY airport to take the plane towards Frankfurt, and afterwards towards Narita, Tokyo Japan.

It was a great internship of 2 and half months. I really enjoyed my stay here in the US, and hopefully I will come back to see everyone.


I will miss it here!!!! May, don't forget me!!!!!

Bye!!!!

Finally pictures from the United States! Sorry that I took so long... I was just being lazy again. Another two weeks until I am done with this internship. I think I will really miss it here. Even though it was really boring at the beginning, but now I really got used to living in Allentown: going to work every day, having my well deserved closing-time, going out to lunch with May and travel all around USA during the week-ends. But since I just cannot wait for the time in Japan, this feeling kind of beat the sadness of leaving here.

So stop the nonsense... have fun with the picture!! ^O^



( for more behind the cut )

Thanks to Ai I have been watching BL movies lately... AND NO, I AM NOT WATCHING ANY GAY PORNOS!!. Those movies have little, often no sexual scenes at at all! Still I was a little bit afraid of watching those movies, just because that they might going to ruin all the pictures I have in my head... XDDD And I have to day some are not really not that well made... but others are quite good.

I will introduce my favourite one in those I have watched so far: BOYS LOVE - Theatrical Edition!!, also named Boy Love 2 (yes there are also a Boys Love 1 which was also quite good, but the story could not reach the 2nd one at all...!!) Don't fool by the name that it sounds cheap.. it's not! It might be true that the characters do not have so much experience as some other famous actors and therefore might lack in acting skill sometimes, but beside this they did their job really well!



I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU TO WATCH THIS MOVIE WHEN YOU ARE A BL FAN!!!!!

I can tell you that I almost died when the movie starts to play its ending theme song...

You might say that I am exaggerating... but I am not! I can seriously tell you that this movie is just great: beautiful actors, wonderful story and well made!!! I don't know if there are any english translation of this movie... if not I just cannot understand why not!!! >.< Just the two maincharacters.. oh gosh.. they are both sooo damned pretty!!! *////;;///*

Even though I have to say that those who have a weak heart should try to avoid this movie, you almost are not able to find a single scene throughout the movie that is not heavy or sad... Even though only based on making it can be put into the list of "normal love movies" but looking the whole it definetely will touch your heart!

If you are interessted, please take a look - summary, screen shots and links to watch it online!!

( Boys Love - Theatrical Edition; A movie that touches the deep of your heart )

Haha I am back with a new photosession again... this time, I just want to update my last list with one new item. No! I did not forget this important point, it was just, that this one has to have it's on entry... because it is a whole list itself... XDDDDD
It's....

*drums*

Asian boys - I just love Asian boys!!! Haha!! But I think this is not a great wonder either... hehe. I really have a weakness for Asian guys. I do not why either. If it comes to western guys, he needs to be really great looking and so my type so that I would actually find him handsome or cute. Even though I am grown up in Germany and there was even a time (guess at what age..)when I even find some western guy cute, but then everything changed when I started to love Asian things. Today I almost only look at Asian guys XD. But sure, this is only about looks! When it comes to character I cannot deny that there are bunches of great western guys out there. Even though I truely wish to have a Asian as lifepartner later, but I cannot tell today if this is going to be reality. Maybe my own fate wants me go a totally different way...

I have a favor for cute and beautiful looking guys, I am not so much into masculiness... But beside the looks I also have a favor for good actors and good singers.
I do not have a top 10 or something, some of them I have like for already long time now, others I just started to like recently, also others I have liked a before, but not so much today anymore, but still deserve a place in this list. I hope I will not forget anyone.. if I do, I am very sorry about this!! So finishing up the talking.. So stop the talking now.. now here are my favourite boys ^^

Btw. those from some bands, I will take my favourite member, as then this list will just get way too long.



Jang Geun Suk - my Manga Prince!!! *////* I so love him!!! People here might not know him so well.. but he is absolutely the cutest ever. I saw him the first time on a TV show, my first thought was.. damned is he cute!! *;;* There I heard that he plays a role in the drama "Hwang Jin Yi". So I downloaded this drama and found then my favourite drama of all time... He also acted in the new movie "Baby and me". I just love him, even though he did not acted in so many dramas, he is a very good actors though. Please spread the love of Geun Suk!!

( Want to take a further glance? )

Haha, you would like to write more entries if your journal actually looks better now...

So I thought of posting some pictures today...

of the things that I love.... of course not everything, but some of them just popped into my head... so I thought I put them on here... there might be more later.. hehe

I hope after this people knows a little bit better about me. Maybe you can find some of your loves in this list as well ^^

No.. no stars this time^^;;;



Strawberry yogurt - I just love it... I like yogurt a lot, but when it comes to buying, I only buy strawberry flavor ones.. haha I do not know why either...


( wanna take a further look? )

I just changed my livejournal layout. I wanted to change it for a long time, but did not know what to put. Recently I saw this picture and really like it. I first thought wow, what a beautiful drawings of a lady, but then I notice that it is a man... XDDD And I really have to think of all some of my favourite uke characters from the romans I read... and this picture starts wake a nice feeling inside me. So I decided to put it on here. I still like Tegoshi-chan, but it's been already so long that I did not follow any Johnny's activity now and I am not suppose to do it. So I also delete all the Johnny's tags and after a while I will also change my Icons. Well I will only use one anyway because I think a Icon suppose to let others recognize someone, so I won't change it. But before I find a new one, I will keep this Tegoshi...

When I tried to change my layout I noticed a new problem
I DID NOT KNOW HOW CHANGE IT...

as I do not know anything about HTML. The two layouts before were both made by friends of mine... so I tried to look through the overrides and finally got a clue about how to do it. So I changed some of the attributes in that and finally got it somehow nice now. However, like a said, I only replace some of the attribute, but did not write any HTML code myself.. as I did not want to ruin anything.

that's why I am I still face some problems...

- how do I put background behind the background, I mean not only colors...
- how do I change the text style, I only know how to change the size#
- how do I make the title of each journal entry standing out, I mean have actually a different size and style for the titles only.

I hope someone can help me a little bit with that...

I seriously should have studied some HTML...