Ok I have another 30 min until the next class... so I decided to write lj again.. instead of doing research for my stupid report and presenation that is due to next week... ahhhh (Ｘ．Ｘ;)


I have calm down with the murder case... ヽ(´ー｀)ノ
I mean of course I will have to take care of myself.. but what happens just happens...
I cannot stop me being running over accidently by a car of which the driver fell asleep, or being hit by a lightning during this rain season, or falls falls down the stairs and hit my head, or eventually get the swine influenza or other deadly illnesses.
Being stupid to always worry about those things I should better concentrate how I should spend my last 30 days here in Japan. But right now I cannot think about anything else beside of doing my reports, finishing my presentations and get damned a good grade in the classes!! But it is still like ... "surprise! You have got an A or F" -case. (ﾟ-ﾟ;)←

I think I will just miss everyone here sooo much... Right now I cannot believe that I might not be able to see some of them for the rest of my life after a get on the plane this time. I mean... I do not know when I am going to be back next time... maybe next year, but maybe in 3 years, or 5 years.. or 10 years!! ~~~~~~~~(；ω；)

Even though I try to keep a little distance to them, because I know if I go too close to them it would just be too sad at farewell. But I still want them know that I really really love them very much and that I wish everyone of them all the best for their futures. Even if you cannot imagine.. but the time I have spent here in these 3 months have been so wonderful... I can almost maybe the most wonderful time in my life so far...
Then I ask myself why I just do not stay here.. I mean I can just stay the summer here and reject my internship opporturnity in Shanghai, or come back to Waseda next year for a Master... but I know I cannot do that. Because ever person needs to go on and find his or her own way. Even though happiness and fun is very important in life... but pursuing your profession, using your time to study more and more, seeing the world, expand your boundaries... are all also very very important. And I believe that 4 month are enough for fun and hobbies and I need to return back to what I need and should do.

I really treasure my time and the memory I left here and feel really sad to leave everything here... but I believe that my choice is correct. Perhaps I will come back one day, sooner than I thought, and we will be joint again.


Haha... now I used up 20 min just talking about this shit. Sorry about that guys... ^^;;;

I am getting to class now... it is going to be a hard day!!!!! Fighting!!!

Btw. I forgot my cell phone at my room... you know what is being like without cell phone in Tokyo? It is like... almost clinging aways from the rest of the world... haha.. that is why I am blubbing all these nonsense... XDDDD

怖い・・・ (ﾟ-ﾟ;)←

今朝の０時何分、西川口駅から約５００メートルのアパートで死んだ女性が見つかられたそうです！！！胸と背中が何回目ナイフに刺された！！それだけじゃない・・・そこから、約６００メートルの川で一人男の遺体が見つかられたみたい！！！二人死んだよ！！！

容疑者はその同じアパートに借りている、２８歳の中国籍女性そうです。今見つかっていないです。殺す使ったナイフもまだ見つかられていないだ・・・


今私なぜ毎日日本にあるような殺人事件書くのか知りたい？　理由は簡単・・・私は毎日その殺された人のアパート近くある道を通るから！！！！

西川口駅私毎日使うの駅から、そして私はほとんど夜の１１時半ぐらいその道を通ってる・・・


あああああああ\(´>ω<｀)/


犯人がまた見つかられていないだ！！！！

そして、その殺された男性とその殺された女性の関係は？？？

だから今朝その道が全部警察に閉められました・・・黄色いテープを使った、ドラマみたいと思った・・・ヽ(´ー｀)ノそして今日１１時半ぐらいの帰りはまた普通にその道で通った・・・何も考えずに、あ・・まだ閉まってると思った・・・(￣ー￣)

って帰ってきて、寮長さんから殺人事件の話を聞いて、自分もネットで調べって、今自分のことバカだと思っている！！！！！！！本とにバカ！！！（゜゜;;） ←　同じ感じしおりに怒られた・・・ごめん！(＞-＜;)
二度と夜にその道を使わないことを決めた！！！(Ｘ．Ｘ;)


また遅くないかも知らないけど・・・今日から帰りは気をつけます！！！

マジで怖いな・・・早く犯人を捕まってね！！！それども犯人は早く自分が自首しなさい！！！( ﾟ艸ﾟ);;;

日本ってさ・・・やっぱり危ない人いっぱいいるな！！！泣く~~~~~~~~(；ω；)

Sorry not having kept my promise of writing more often. It's really I do not have the time to calm down at all. Also I have decided to start mixi as well (Japanese community page, where everyone is there.. ^^;;;), so sometimes I will just put the entry from there over here...

Today, I wrote my first dairy entry at mixi, in Japanese!!!!

Haha, it took me quite long to write this short entry... but I have suceed!!!

here it is:

-----------------------------------------------------------

はじめってmixiで日記を書くのことになりました！！！

皆はここにいるから、自分も頑張らないと・・・

でも難しいな・・・しかも日本語で・・・汗


３月２６日アメリカから日本の早稲田大学の留学生活が始まったよ！！！今まで毎日楽しく進んでいる！！！

友達をできたり、サークル活動やったり、学校に行ったり、バイトをしたり・・・完璧な大学生生活をしてる！！！あ・・九分の・・・恋をしていない・・泣

まだ一ヶ月ここにいるの事まったく気づてない・・もう一ヶ月だ！！！そろそろ上海に帰ること考えないろ・・・あまり考えたくないけど、でもそうしないと、落ち着けなれない・・・
でも皆と離れたくないだ！！！ここの全てを愛してる！！！

今朝中国大使館に行き積もりだけど、寝過ごした。目をさめたも１１時だ・・・事務所１２時までやってるから・・・無理だ！！だからいまベットでごろごろしてる。笑


そろそろ起きたほうがいい・・・勉強したしょうがいい・・・したくない！！本とに完全に怠け者になった・・・


でもそれは青春じゃないですか？？？！！！

笑



よし・・・起きます！！今日の一日また頑張ります！！

Ahhh it has been so long since I wrote my last entry... yeah seriously more than one month now... wow! I am really sorry, that I did not write earlier... I have been just way too busy lately.. that I even do not have the time to rely to e-mails. First of all, sorry Aqua!! I really forgot to reply to your mail... I am so slow at typing German or English on the mobile so I wanted to wait later until I have more time to reply to you... but guess what... I forgot.. ^^;;;

But yeah since you asked what and I have been doing since I arrived at Tokyo... I will just write a little bit about it right now.

To describe my time here at Waseda in one sentence it would be:

........It's just too awesome to be true!!!............

I just cannot find any words to describe it... it has been more than 4 weeks since I arrved to Tokyo and almost 4 weeks since I started my exchange semester here at Waseda. I feel like if I have been living here my life long... I remember when I was thinking about which university I wanted to go after High School, that Waseda would be such a great one... but this was so impossible that it seemed to be a dream. Today this dream has been fulfilled... and I noticed that the dream about Waseda has been confirmed. I had all right to dream about Waseda. Because now I finally got to know what it means to have a "student way of life!"

Before I start to talk great about Waseda, I just wanted everyone know that Waseda is not a place to expand your own knowledge horrizon... not with that I have seen so far. If you want to study seriously you should instead choose Keio or Tokyo Daigaku. Waseda is one of the top universities in Japan that is true... but compare to the university I now (at least to WHU) I just can say that the levels vary so much from each other. For me the only thing I learn the most at Waseda is Japanese. But hey... I am here to have fun... to experience the real student life... and in that point Waseda has surpassed all of my expectations!

Due to space and time limitation I cannot start to talk about everyday since I came to Waseda, therefore I will just summarize everything.

The best thing I find great about Waseda are CIRCLES! On the day of your University entrance ceremony (1st, April) and the whole week with this, all the circles of Waseda are gather together on the main campus and try to convince freshmen to join their circles. It is a thing that you experience or seen so far. I am an exchange student, therefore, not need to attend any university entrance ceremony... but I still wore my suit and went there to see how an entrance ceremony was like. After it was done, all the freshmen came out of the university and step into the main campus... and there sophmore, juniors, and seniors form a big corridor out of people and start to give out pamphlets from their circles... it is not only 1 or 2, and also not 9-10, but 100 - 200 pages that you get on that day!!! If you start to spread out your arms to receive some of them, you have already done a mistake. Because once you open up your arms, the next people you passe by will on and on try to put their pamphlets on top of the others... so it begins to built a pile which grows higher and higher... and it does not stop...

When I tried to find my way though this human corridor, I was releaved that some of the guys suddently handed me a paper bag so I could put all those into it... as I was also wearing a suit, I was also mistaken to be a freshmen, so there was no escape from them. There I lost the Korean friend with who I came to the ceremony... and found the first circle, a Musical circle called Seiren Musical Project. On that afternoon, I watched a show they had last year on DVD called "Me and My Girl" and was so fascinated by their performance that I could not believe that the most of actors and actresses are actual younger than me... after that we went to Japanese Yakiniku restaurant and all the sempais treated the freshmen to dinner and all you can drink juices and alcohol. There I got to know that this what they do is called "Shin Kan Kai", in Japanese 新観会. As Waseda is absolutely famous for its number of circles... also called the circle heaven - サークル天国. Waseda has hundreds of circles: standard sport circles
tennis, volleyball, foodball, soccer down to specialities like diving, skiing or chearleading. Dancing circles for example are all together more than 20 or 30 as there all kinds of dancing circles. Artist circles, like Manga study, drama, piano, ensemble, choir, Jazz, acapella, traditional music instruments... study circles like english debating, spanish, law study circles, international exchange... Funny and spaciality circles like media study circles (announcer, making MV), Japanese kabuki, tea ceremony, or fan circles... almost everything you can imagine!!!!
every April, all the circles organizes events as for examples drink parties (飲み会 or コンパ), watching sakura (花見), 2 days travel (合宿) or getting know training sessions (練習会). Everything is either free or very cheap for freshmen so therefore many freshmen uses this chance to get free food and drink during their first month. Others are just going around circles to find the right one they want to join.
I did that too. Therefore during the last 4 weeks, there were almost no day that I came home earlier than 23 pm... Everyday I had different events going on, most of them where some training scessions plus drinking parties afterwards.
For me I have found 3-4 interessting circles I have been going to their events recently, two musical circles, one is this Seiren Musical project, other one is called Omnibus, also a Musical circle. The 3rd one is a dancing circle and the fourth one a Magic circle. Last one was at first a circle I went bc I did not have anything to do on that day so I went to their drinking party. But it was so fun, that I even now went to couple of training sessions... ^^;; The thing about circles is that you can get to know so many cool people, make a lot of friends and have tons and tons of fun in a very short time. The members welcome you warmly as you might be a possible future member of this circle. You cannot only make friends with the grades over you you can also make many freshmen friends. In the dorm I have found two best friends who I spent most of my time together, with them I go to Omnibus, and the dancing circle. I have make friends with many old graders and freshmen as well...
My phone number list has grown from around 30 people... until 150! And did I already told you guys that there are so many good looking guys here at Waseda? The same goes for beautiful girls.. many of the could be already models. I do not know where they are coming from, but they are just there... I know that is impossible to find anyone within the next 3 months.. but just hanging out with them, having fun is already enough for me.

So.. I better stop here.. next time I will upload pictures and you can see yourself what kind of beautiful faces are around me every single day... I do not know if its a good thing or not.. hehe but see them yourself...

In 5 min I will get on my way to Newark NY airport to take the plane towards Frankfurt, and afterwards towards Narita, Tokyo Japan.

It was a great internship of 2 and half months. I really enjoyed my stay here in the US, and hopefully I will come back to see everyone.


I will miss it here!!!! May, don't forget me!!!!!

Bye!!!!

Finally pictures from the United States! Sorry that I took so long... I was just being lazy again. Another two weeks until I am done with this internship. I think I will really miss it here. Even though it was really boring at the beginning, but now I really got used to living in Allentown: going to work every day, having my well deserved closing-time, going out to lunch with May and travel all around USA during the week-ends. But since I just cannot wait for the time in Japan, this feeling kind of beat the sadness of leaving here.

So stop the nonsense... have fun with the picture!! ^O^



( for more behind the cut )

Thanks to Ai I have been watching BL movies lately... AND NO, I AM NOT WATCHING ANY GAY PORNOS!!. Those movies have little, often no sexual scenes at at all! Still I was a little bit afraid of watching those movies, just because that they might going to ruin all the pictures I have in my head... XDDD And I have to day some are not really not that well made... but others are quite good.

I will introduce my favourite one in those I have watched so far: BOYS LOVE - Theatrical Edition!!, also named Boy Love 2 (yes there are also a Boys Love 1 which was also quite good, but the story could not reach the 2nd one at all...!!) Don't fool by the name that it sounds cheap.. it's not! It might be true that the characters do not have so much experience as some other famous actors and therefore might lack in acting skill sometimes, but beside this they did their job really well!



I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU TO WATCH THIS MOVIE WHEN YOU ARE A BL FAN!!!!!

I can tell you that I almost died when the movie starts to play its ending theme song...

You might say that I am exaggerating... but I am not! I can seriously tell you that this movie is just great: beautiful actors, wonderful story and well made!!! I don't know if there are any english translation of this movie... if not I just cannot understand why not!!! >.< Just the two maincharacters.. oh gosh.. they are both sooo damned pretty!!! *////;;///*

Even though I have to say that those who have a weak heart should try to avoid this movie, you almost are not able to find a single scene throughout the movie that is not heavy or sad... Even though only based on making it can be put into the list of "normal love movies" but looking the whole it definetely will touch your heart!

If you are interessted, please take a look - summary, screen shots and links to watch it online!!

( Boys Love - Theatrical Edition; A movie that touches the deep of your heart )

Haha I am back with a new photosession again... this time, I just want to update my last list with one new item. No! I did not forget this important point, it was just, that this one has to have it's on entry... because it is a whole list itself... XDDDDD
It's....

*drums*

Asian boys - I just love Asian boys!!! Haha!! But I think this is not a great wonder either... hehe. I really have a weakness for Asian guys. I do not why either. If it comes to western guys, he needs to be really great looking and so my type so that I would actually find him handsome or cute. Even though I am grown up in Germany and there was even a time (guess at what age..)when I even find some western guy cute, but then everything changed when I started to love Asian things. Today I almost only look at Asian guys XD. But sure, this is only about looks! When it comes to character I cannot deny that there are bunches of great western guys out there. Even though I truely wish to have a Asian as lifepartner later, but I cannot tell today if this is going to be reality. Maybe my own fate wants me go a totally different way...

I have a favor for cute and beautiful looking guys, I am not so much into masculiness... But beside the looks I also have a favor for good actors and good singers.
I do not have a top 10 or something, some of them I have like for already long time now, others I just started to like recently, also others I have liked a before, but not so much today anymore, but still deserve a place in this list. I hope I will not forget anyone.. if I do, I am very sorry about this!! So finishing up the talking.. So stop the talking now.. now here are my favourite boys ^^

Btw. those from some bands, I will take my favourite member, as then this list will just get way too long.



Jang Geun Suk - my Manga Prince!!! *////* I so love him!!! People here might not know him so well.. but he is absolutely the cutest ever. I saw him the first time on a TV show, my first thought was.. damned is he cute!! *;;* There I heard that he plays a role in the drama "Hwang Jin Yi". So I downloaded this drama and found then my favourite drama of all time... He also acted in the new movie "Baby and me". I just love him, even though he did not acted in so many dramas, he is a very good actors though. Please spread the love of Geun Suk!!

( Want to take a further glance? )

Haha, you would like to write more entries if your journal actually looks better now...

So I thought of posting some pictures today...

of the things that I love.... of course not everything, but some of them just popped into my head... so I thought I put them on here... there might be more later.. hehe

I hope after this people knows a little bit better about me. Maybe you can find some of your loves in this list as well ^^

No.. no stars this time^^;;;



Strawberry yorgurt - I just love it... I like yogurt a lot, but when it comes to buying, I only buy strawberry flavor ones.. haha I do not know why either...


( wanna take a further look? )

I just changed my livejournal layout. I wanted to change it for a long time, but did not know what to put. Recently I saw this picture and really like it. I first thought wow, what a beautiful drawings of a lady, but then I notice that it is a man... XDDD And I really have to think of all some of my favourite uke characters from the romans I read... and this picture starts wake a nice feeling inside me. So I decided to put it on here. I still like Tegoshi-chan, but it's been already so long that I did not follow any Johnny's activity now and I am not suppose to do it. So I also delete all the Johnny's tags and after a while I will also change my Icons. Well I will only use one anyway because I think a Icon suppose to let others recognize someone, so I won't change it. But before I find a new one, I will keep this Tegoshi...

When I tried to change my layout I noticed a new problem
I DID NOT KNOW HOW CHANGE IT...

as I do not know anything about HTML. The two layouts before were both made by friends of mine... so I tried to look through the overrides and finally got a clue about how to do it. So I changed some of the attributes in that and finally got it somehow nice now. However, like a said, I only replace some of the attribute, but did not write any HTML code myself.. as I did not want to ruin anything.

that's why I am I still face some problems...

- how do I put background behind the background, I mean not only colors...
- how do I change the text style, I only know how to change the size#
- how do I make the title of each journal entry standing out, I mean have actually a different size and style for the titles only.

I hope someone can help me a little bit with that...

I seriously should have studied some HTML...

Nach so langem hat er mich plötzlich wieder im Chat angesprochen... ich dachte es wird wieder wie einer der wenigen small talk Chatgesprächen, die wir auch früher geführt haben... aber plötzlich meinte er, er vermisse mich. Zwar hat er das auf Japanisch gesagt, aber mein Herz hat sofort angefangen wie verrückt zu rasen.. ich wusste auch nicht wieso. Ich habe ihm gleich auf einen Scherz gesagt, dass er doch bitte so etwas bescheuertes nicht sagen soll. Und dann hörte er nicht mehr auf, und meinte noch, dass er echt manchmal an mich denken muss und dass er es schade finde, dass wir uns wahrscheinlich nicht mehr sehen werden. Und er hat sich x mal bei mir entschuldigt, und schrieb dass er doch ein totaler Idiot sei mir so etwas angetan zu haben.. und dass er es heute noch bereut.. Ich meinte ja, dass es doch schon längst Vergangeheit und er darüber nicht mehr reden sollte. Außerdem waren auch schöne Erinnerungen dabei gewesen. Dann behauptet er aus heiterem Himmel ich würde ihm bestimmt nicht vermissen. Dann bin ich etwas außer mir geworden und meinte dann, wie schwer es mir damals fiel ihn zu vergessen und es mir sogar heute auch noch manchmal schwer fällt. Daraufhin meinte ganz plötzlich er wäre ein Idiot gewesen, dass er nun so lange gebraucht hat um so etwas zu begreifen, nun da ich doch so weit in der USA bin. Aber wir sollen darüber nicht mehr reden. Ich wusste da auf einmal nicht mehr was ich sagen sollte... meine Finger haben beim Tippen gezittert. Ich habe dann nur gesagt, dass ich hoffe, dass wir uns wieder sehen. Er fragte, und dann? Ich so.. ja wie dann.. habe nie darüber nachgedacht. Er sagte: wir werden sehen... Da blieb mir auch die Sprache weg...
Er schrieb, er wolle nun ins Bett gehen, da es bei ihm schon fast 5 Uhr morgen ist. Ich meinte dann, er solle wirklich schlafen. Er meinte gute Nacht.. ich habe dann gesagt, dass ich heute wahrscheinlich nicht gut schlafen werden, dank einer gewissen Person. Er hat sich dann wieder entschuldigt und meinte ich sollte das was er gesagt hat wieder vergessen. ^^;; Ich lache dann blöd und meinte, das es ein Scherz ist und es ja nicht schlimm ist. Dann haben wir uns verabschiedet. Ich meinte, dass ich mich öfteres melden werde. Das habe ihm letztes Mal auch versprochen.. aber ich war nie online. Werde ich es diesmal schaffen? Hm.. das weiß ich selbst nicht.

Er war meine erste richtige Liebe gewesen... und auch die letzte, die ich hatte. Wir waren nur so kurz zusammen gewesen, ich dachte ich könnte damals echt glücklich werden. Aber dann hat er mich in die Hölle geschupst und von heute auf morgen mich verlassen. Damals hat es so wehgetan... ich habe ihn wirklich gehasst.. aber konnte das letztendlich doch nicht, schließlich habe ich ihn ja echt geliebt. Doch die Gefühle verblassten, der Schmerz auch... heute denke ich, ich bin schon drüber hinweg. Aber ich weiß nicht wieso mein Herz trotzdem wie verrückt gekloppft, meine Finger wie bescheuert gezittert haben. Ich dachte er finde sicherlich bald ne nette Freundin und wird mich nicht mehr kontaktieren, aber das tat er nicht...immer wieder schrieb er mich an, beklagt sich wieso ich einen Sommer lang nie bei ihm melde.. wieso ich doch nie nach ihm Frage... so blöde Fragen. Und heute das... ich weiß auch nicht. Die Bilder, die ich im Kopf habe, jedes Mal wenn ich in Gedanken versinke sind auch Beweise dafür, dass ich ihn wahrscheinlich nie ganz hinter mich bringen kann. Eigentlich habe ich das schon gemerkt, als ich ihn vor kurzem wieder im Traum begegnete, er wollte mich zurück haben und ich habe ihn angeschrieben und doch im Innern der Herzen habe ich mich gefreut. Am nächsten Morgen habe ich mich geärgert, und war gleichzeitig enttäuscht, dass es nur ein Traum war.. ich habe gehofft solche Träume nie wieder zu träumen, und doch kam er wieder. Wisst ihr dass Träume innere Wünsche widerspiegeln? Wenn der Wunsch in Erfüllung geht, verschwinden die Träume. Das habe ich schon mal erlebt...
Ich weiß zwar nicht, was passiert, wenn ich eine neue Liebe finde, aber bis dahin, kann ich nur sagen, das was ich mir damals vor genommen habe, ist wirklich nicht einfach.

Der Mensch ist schon komisch... die Gefühle der Liebe, ist wirklich nicht etwas, was man unterschätzen sollte. Man kann sie nicht einfassen, man kann sie nicht riechen und doch ist sie da, stärker als alles andere. Wie die Romanen schön schreiben, sind nie rein erfundene Märchengeschichten.

I said that I fell in love with BL novels. Recently I even started to listen to BL radio records. They are really well made. A week ago I have listened to one, and read the story to it. After reading it I decided to translate it. I want to share it with everyone of you.
It has been forever since I have translated anything. I have posted it in many different BL communities. I hope this story will encourage more people supporting BL.

Title: I will wait for you until 35
Genre: BL
Author: Nakang
Translation: kotorichan
Genre: true story
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The memory of a Chinese BL novel writer about his break up with his boyfriend, shortly one year before his suicide.
Comments: Tears, heartbreak 100%! Do not read, if you cannot stand really sad stories.
I am sorry if my translation skill is not that good.

( I will wait for you until 35 )

Hello everyone!!!!


Happy Chinese new year!!! It's the year of the buffalo, it stands for dilligence, intelligence and patience. I hope everyone will have a great Year 2009 fortune, happiness and love.

Hey!!

I have been now in USA now for almost two weeks now. I am doing good and finally I have time to enjoy some free time at home. I know I need to tell a little about my stay here, I promise I will do it next time... but there is just something that I have to show all the artist, yaoi lover, and fanfic lover among you.. I have found a new love...

I have started to read fanfics.. and the second kanji Zhiyi the cut there is my favourite character in this great new roman, which did not end.. and the first Kanjis Heise Jinyao (black poison) is the artist who actually drew this character into a beautiful CG. Just want to show you.. what it means to be a great artist! >/////< The writer is great, the person who draws also... everything just fits together perfectly. I have put some other ones in the cut. Heise Jinyao is already one the most famost ones in this field in China.. You just can only fall in love with her works... *-*
Have fun with them! ^^

little teaser...



p.s. just skip the cut, if you are not favor of Yaoi. ^^;

( 黑色禁药 and 炽翼 )

In about 6 hours I am going to leave for my train towards Frankfurt Airport and leave for Pennsylvania. I am quite nervous I have to say... not only that I am going be gone for more than half a year but also that I do not know what kind of place is waiting for me.
I am going to miss my mom a lot I think, as I have spent my best two weeks with my mom here! We have had a lot of fun... I think now I finally know what it means to be loved so much by your mom. I will see her in seven months in Shanghai again, hopefully. In the next three months I hope everything is going to be just fine (especially the thing with driving...), I will learn a lot about doing business in US (even at a German company) and that I am going to meet nice people and make friends over there! Wish me luck!!

I am coming USA! ^^V

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope this year is going to bring your guys much sucess, love and luck!!!!!

Love you all!!!

Uaaa.. I just had a great day!!! *______*
I told you guys yesterday that I will start to play a Business plan game (Unternehmensspiel), and this will last for the next 3 days. Well it was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo fun!!! *_____________*
Attention... who is reading further has to endure a lot of business admnistration stuff...^^;;

( game day 1 )

I just wrote my last exam for this year, I am feeling great!!!! (well... of course overlooking the fact that I am just physically outpowered, hungry, tired and have still tones of tones of other things left to do...) .. now just hopping the grades were somewhat acceptable...

I am right now in love with this video from Big Bang... damned G-Dragon ist so hooooot!!! *___________________*

Even though the video is quite overexagerating I think.. the song is still quite good. I like the make up..^^ Don't you guys think that TOP really have quite special eyes? O.o



So... go doing all the dishes mountain! ^^;;;

*puke*

AHHH I am so angry of my self!!! I just messed up an exam again!!! T_____________T And this was even the finance exam, in which I would like to do a specification... ahhh... why can't I just use my brain better? WHY NOT?! >___________<
There are so many questions where I actually could find the answer... but I just could not think straight... and messed up so many of them... and there were not even hard!!! Ahhh I am disappointed in myself... I cannot stop thinking that I again messed up something that I could have done better.. and all the preparation for that... for nothing!!! >.< Well I do not think that I would fail this exam... but still.. it's just feels bad when you could have done something much better but because of my stupidness the result was then the opposite! I have on monday another exam for which I only have two days of studying... but it is going to be my last one. I do not feel like that this semester has been going well... somehow I think I have worsen myself compare to last semester. Even though I have some ok grades... but the bad ones are waiting for me... T.T

I am sorry that I have just to shit this out here in my journal... but it's just that it sucks.. always to be so bad!!! And none of the effort is actually being somehow rewarded... but others do... who just have better brain as I do! ><
By the way I found my next internship: it is going to be B.Braun, the famous German medicine technique company, but not in Germany, but in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, USA. After this I will go to Japan in April and begin my semester abroad at Waseda. I am going to leave Germany on the 5th of January and then not coming for more than 8 months! Maybe this is better... I could at least get a little bit relaxed from the university and everything around me...

Actually I am pretty happy about my internship. I will work at the Finance department (that I THOUGHT I was interessted in...). The conditions are also quite good: own appartment, own car, 500$ in months to spend and even a pick up service from the airport ^^
Well... I got this internship through my mentor from my scholarship foundation. He is really a nice guy and knew the CEO of Brau in USA... ^^;; You just need to have luck in things like this I think....

So... that's it I am going to continue with my study for Business Ethics and maybe get something to eat...

see you!