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☆☆a queen's backyard☆☆
23 April 2010 @ 12:41 am
Oh dear...

I hope this is over soon. I so hope!! In two weeks I am free!! Almost free... I think I will never be free anymore in my life, but at least from the situation I am right now. Haha

I am imagining... what happened if I do not have him with me, I think I am going to die. Even though we are 1000 of kilometers apart from each other, our hearts have been ever so close to each other.

It is funny... people tend to rely on the other side so much more, once he or she feels lonely. That is how he is reacting recently... to sweet to be true. The bad thing is, this way I cannot concentrate on my study!!! Damned.. I really need to get going!! XD

Now I know why you should ever fall in love doing student time. I never wanted to believe that... but now I do...^^;;
Current Mood: lovedloved
☆☆a queen's backyard☆☆
19 March 2010 @ 07:15 pm
Right now I am facing the biggest turnpoint and the worst crisis ever in my life so far.

Even I know there might be worser and worser things later in life, but I think the situation I am right now in I have never experienced before.

I hope I will get through this crisis successfully... I will give my absolut best. I believe if I can do this, I will be able to do so much more in the future.

Even though I am in the worst crisis ever, I still think I have found something really precious: someone I could imagine to spend my life together with...
Current Mood: worrieddown
☆☆a queen's backyard☆☆
16 October 2009 @ 10:10 pm
What am I doing...

It's friday evening, and it's 1h50 min to my 22th birthday. And I am sitting here in the library and have to learn a 500 slides script of my hated subject, business informatics II.

I know I am pathatic... I remember that I spent my last year's birthday the same way. I even forgot it, after I realized, it was already 30 past. A really sad thing was... even my mom forgot it. (She appoligized after that through...)

But this year, she did not forget, she already called me today to say that he got a present for me. It's a new winter jacket. :) Also she promised to call tomorrow too. My brother will write me too. I love my family.

I wonder if my boyfriend is going to call me at 12. He promissed to call... but I think he will oversleep. And I wonder if any friend will gratulate me... even not, it's still ok. I got used to that. I am bad at remembering friend's birthday's too. I am sorry for that and appologize now for all the forgotten birthdays of them. I know how special it can be to hear a "Happy Birthday!". But they should know that I always think about them!

I am looking forwards to my new year of life. I hope this year is going to be special. I hope I will step into a new stage of life successfully. And I hope I will be able to look back after this year has passed that it was all good. Because I am able to say that right now too.
Current Mood: blankblank
☆☆a queen's backyard☆☆
18 September 2009 @ 09:58 pm

This is the picture I took of him during our little date in the park at my last week in Japan when we made a little firework party. I worked a little bit on this picture with photoshop. Isn't it beautiful?

But come back to subject.

Since two days I have been back to Vallendar.

the day being backCollapse )
Current Mood: numbnumb
☆☆a queen's backyard☆☆
18 August 2009 @ 10:43 am
Another morning with nothing to do. I wonder if I am serious going to learn something in this internship. But yeah, at least I haven't been reading so many news articles, interviews and specialist reports for a long time. For a long time, I finally find myself back to knowing a little bit about what is happening in Germany and rest of the world. During the time back in Japan I have not done anything that sort, and kind of felt dumb when people suddenly asked me about current German political questions and I could not give any nice answers to them.

Surprisingly the afternoon was quite busy. Busier than I thought. I got two tasks to do which I did in around 2 and half hours. When my manager even doubted if I was able to find the document, I told him that I already finished it and hast sent it to him. He gave out a little surprised tone.. and just said something like, oh I was working with my laptop that is why I did not check my e-mail.

my Shanghai night life with my dadCollapse )
Current Mood: amusedamused
☆☆a queen's backyard☆☆
13 August 2009 @ 02:22 pm
There supposed to be the yearly Perseid meteor shower yesterday night. I really wanted to see it... I even told that my bf so we could watch it together at one time (since Japan has only one hour of time zone difference compared to Shanghai), even though we are in 2 different places.
I did not want to give up yesterday even though I know that in Shanghai, even when the sky is clear, it is to bright for stars to appear. And of course the same goes with inner city of Tokyo. However, I just wanted to try out if if you can still see a little bit if you wait long enough. So after I chatted with my boyfriend on skype I went to the big balcony of my dad's mansion, covered with a huge blanked and sad on the floor to wait for the falling stars to appear. And guess what... there weren't any. >.< Since the sun eclipse there has been rain everyday. And of course the sky never actually cleared up in these days. I mean I should have known that it must be impossible to see any.

In the first 10 min, I believed to have seen one till three little, bright stripes striving through the skies. But I was not sure if there were shooting stars or just some weird imagination of me. And then I waited, waited and waited... I think around 30 min, I decided to go inside because I was quite sure that none will appear. Before opening the door, I turned a last time back and suddently I saw a big hole in the middle of the dense black clouds, and a huge, bright star appeared. Then after a couple of seconds a bright, little light dashed by, from north to south, right infront of me. I could not really believe my eyes. There was really a meteor star! *O* I almost cried out! >O< I was so happy I got to see one. And of course just right after that I made a wish. All my sleepiness and tiredness was gone, and I was so touched that even though there was such a thik layer of cloud, this little star still made out of it, brighter as any other shooting star and appeared in front of me. I did not know why I think this weird way... I think maybe just because this little star gave me a hope, that even though there might be obstacles everywhere and your path seems so unclear, there must be somewhere a brighter shine that leads you if you believe in yourself. It was the first time after perhaps 7 or 8 years that I have see a shooting star once again. The last time I saw one was the time when I went to Hungary with a couple of friends during summer, and because its a village, the stars at night were so clear as nothing before. But I think none of those I saw was so beautiful as that I saw yesterday night. Perhaps because there were so many stars at that time in Hungary and a shooting star therefore does not seem so bright and beautiful. But yesterday, even though the sky was bright because of the strong reflection of all the aritificial lights of the city, it was still gray everywhere. Not even the moon could be seen behind the clouds. That was why the only one shooting star seemed so beautiful in that dark sky.

I did not know that stars could be so beautiful... I think if I see the sky of Tokyo or Shanghai, I seriously starts to miss Germany. Because as I could remember, the German skies are always so beautiful... In summer you can just lie on the field and watch stars with your beloved once, and there you don't need any sort of neon lights, flashing electric bulbs or high building, there are stars you can watch. I think I will definetely want to see the leonids meteor shower in November when it is the time. Once in my life, I want to see such a beautiful natural phenomenon.

Here is a photograph of the Perseid meteor shower was taken in 2004. Isn't this absolutely beautiful? Truely the most beautiful thing on earth is still the natural but nothing else.

Current Mood: bouncybouncy
☆☆a queen's backyard☆☆
06 August 2009 @ 11:12 am
I am really really bored right now! Haha

Right now I am sitting in the office... and am doing absolutely nothing! I have finished the work the manager give me three days ago. The new work I suppose to do from today has not been passed on to me yet, as this guy who is setting next to me and a huuuuuuuuge German fan has been bussy the whole morning. It looks like I would be doing nothing again the whole morning... so I decide to write an entry. I think this time is going to be a long one, as I have quite a lot of time, and I am just going to talk about how I think about love.

randomn talk about loveCollapse )
Current Location: Office
Current Mood: contentcontent
☆☆a queen's backyard☆☆
01 August 2009 @ 10:26 pm
I don't know why I actually deserve to be that happy... I just do not know.

Yesterday evening I was lying on the bed of my dad's bedroom, while reading a photoalbum and started crying heavily... my tears could no stop and just ran and ran and ran, on and on... and the only thing in my head was that I wanted to go back to Japan, I want to go back to my family!! Now I am going to tell you how I actually end up like thinking this way...

the night of 30th of July 2009Collapse )
Current Mood: lovedbeing loved
☆☆a queen's backyard☆☆
26 July 2009 @ 09:04 pm
This is my new happiness:

私の彼氏Collapse )
Current Mood: lovedin love
☆☆a queen's backyard☆☆
19 July 2009 @ 09:41 pm
We are dating...

I confessed to him yesterday and he meant even he does not know what will happen after I return to Germany but for the time what we have, he will be with me. よろしくお願いします

I am so happy... I am so happy that I cannot believe that this is actually true...

I am so sad... I am so sad that I will leave him soon...

This kind of feeling is making me a little bit crazy... But still I am thankful for everything. He has made the 4 months complete, to the best 4 months I have ever experienced in my whole life. And I will be going through the last most wonderful time in the next 10 days.

I am happy for what I have, ... that he is there... to love me.
Current Mood: lovedin love